Cosmopolitan Toastmasters

Somewhat Better Speaking, Listening, Thinking and Eating

                                        Cosmo-Meeting Minutes 


               "Drewitz is a terrible General Secretary.  Don't vote for him."    






Meeting Minutes 12-28-17


Chairman, Sam Charchian, opened the meeting at 6:12. He explained the significance of his start time in somewhat mathematical terms: If you double the first digit, 6 you arrive at the second, 12. If you divide both by 3 the result is 2:04, the land speed record for an electric wheel chair.  Sensing skepticism with its “fake news” component, he cited a Wikipedia article that no one was able to find.


The WFTD, Obtuse, defined as a woodwind instrument with a reed and positioned in the tonal color spectrum toward the high end, our Grammarian, Paul Ahern illustrated its use: “The clear distinctive tone of the obtuse is the antithesis of OBTUND.  Mr. Dunn’s faint, “Oboe” admonition from the back of the room went unheeded and un-reeded.


GSD’s Opening Thought, attributed to conductor Christopher Hogwood: “There’s nothing wrong with playing things, historically, completely incorrectly. Music is not a moral business….it may be completely unrecognizable but, so what, the composer is dead.  And so is Mr. Hogwood for that matter.


Chairman MAO Charchian seized the quorum failure to declare that there would be no business meeting; an unprecedented violation of protocol and club tradition.  Mr. Dunn moved to conduct NEW BUSINESS, overcoming the Charchian coup.


Mr. Dunn moved to rename the weekly overtime speaker icon the “Christopher Hogwood Åward”.


Chairman Sam resumed his dictatorial stance by forbidding a vote, ignoring WFTD, Opening Thought, Parl. Report, Unfinished Business and Committee Reports so he could ram his pet project, TABLE TOPICS, down our collective throats.


In the ensuing chaos Orders Of The Day was rendered irrelevant.


About our Beloved General Secretary: The minutes presented herein are periodically illuminating, at best.  The "General Secretary" is somewhat delusional but often inspired. Please proceed with caution.  Also note that the club secretary is enamoured with the ICTM committee and often attempts to subvert the prosaic intentions of our business meeting with Anti-Smedlatarian diatribes in print.  He also thinks he is the "General Secretary" and insists on being called GSD. He is also a left-leaning progressive pragmatist.


                              GSD's Car      

                E-mail: General Secretary Drewitz