Cosmopolitan Toastmasters

Somewhat Better Speaking, Listening, Thinking and Eating

Famous Speeches Post New Entry

This page is reserved for "members" who may post a speech that has won "Speaker of the Week", then perhaps gone past the club -to the area and beyond.  These are some of our great and famous club speeches.

note: If you personally have a favorite speech you would like to post, then just send the editor a Word doc. copy and it will be posted for you.  Your speech will live in infamy..FOREVER.

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Holiday Letter 2018 by George Heim

Posted by Sam on January 2, 2019 at 10:35 AM Comments comments (0)
Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukah / Merry Kwanza / Happy 21sties, Greetings from the 134th Street pill boxed community. I know you read don't so good, that is why I'm writing this letter slow. 2018 has been a long and interesting year in our household. The big news our neighbors, the Burnsville Hillbillies, lost their lawsuit. They are not to barbeque the roadkill they collect. And most importantly, serve it at the annual neighborhood night out. We are very lucky that the food poison la... Read Full Post »

I'm A Man by George Heim 2018

Posted by Sam on November 21, 2018 at 4:25 PM Comments comments (1)
"m a Man" by George Heim 2018 I grew up in the manly state of South Dakota. In South Dakota, you drink whiskey and fight over water. The men in South Dakota are split into two distinct categories. 1) East River and 2) West River. - East River - where the men are men and so are half the women. - West River - where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. We did manly things growing up: - Rode our bikes with NO helmets. - Played on monkey bars on asphalt playgrounds. - Hunted and ... Read Full Post »

Mission Accomplished by Paul (Dr. ICTM) Ahern

Posted by Sam on May 6, 2018 at 4:05 PM Comments comments (1)

Mission Accomplished


More than a decade ago, yours truly, the Toastmaster formerly known as Dr. ICTM, started the ICTM Council to rid Toastmasters of their silly manuals.

I am pleased to tell all you all, that our efforts, moreso our indifference has led to Toastmasters International scrapping completely its entire manual-based tedium. In other words, “Mission Accomplished!!!”

Yet, beware, an even more insidious Toastmaster’s program ...

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Passion Deficit Disorder by Sir Donald

Posted by Sam on January 6, 2017 at 4:15 PM Comments comments (6)

PASSION DEFICIT Sir Donld Wolesky...January 2017

I recently concluded that I am afflicted with a debilitating condition which we will call Passion Deficit Disorder (PDD).

No medical professional made this diagnosis—it was revealed to me during a recent Table Topics session. In fact, I suspect even our learned Cosmo 515 psychologists—Spencer and Harry—are unfamilia...

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Journey to the Center of My Bowels...Sir Donald

Posted by Sam on October 24, 2015 at 10:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Journey to the Center of My Don Wolesky Oct. 2015

Do you remember where you were when you learned that Seal Team 6 had whacked Osama Bin Laden?

Well, I remember vividly where I was on that historic occasion. I was in my bathroom, sitting on the porcelain throne, emptying myself for a colonoscopy scheduled for the following morning.

Colonoscopy! Th...

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Who Was the Real Ralph Chestnut Smedley?

Posted by Sam on December 18, 2014 at 3:50 PM Comments comments (0)

Who was the Real Ralph Chestnut Smedley? ....By James Dunn -December 2014

What do you really know about Ralph Chestnut Smedley?

Was Ralph Smedley the first cross-dressing toastmaster in America?

Well, no, I couldn’t find any evidence that Dr. Smedley ever donned a frock before, during or after a toastmasters meeting.

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So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good Night

Posted by Sam on September 12, 2014 at 6:00 PM Comments comments (2)


As some of you may already know Chris Deanovic is moving soon. This club has come to mean so much to him over the almost two decades he has been a member, that he couldn’t possibly say goodbye without a final speech to the club and the membership he holds so dear.

Unfortunately he slept in this morning and has more packing to do, and can’t be with us...

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An Ode to Dick Nyberg

Posted by Sam on February 14, 2014 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)


by Chris Deanovic 2/13/14

We all knew this day was coming. The end of the Nyberg run. It was a good run and Dick leaves a legacy of sorts for those of us that were lucky to be apart of his world. As I look back on my time spent with Dick it occurred to me that everything I needed to know I learned from him.


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Republican vs. Democrats for 6-year olds.

Posted by Sam on January 10, 2013 at 4:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Republicans vs. Democrats for 6-year olds by John (GSD) Drewitz 2013


Children, before we go out for recess I’m going to briefly explain a question that some of you have been asking me about recently. The question is “what is the difference between a Republican and a Democrat”. These words have been used a lot lately because we just had a big election for the next President of our country.


First, Republican and Democrat represent t...

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Explaining Difference Between R & D's for 6-year olds.

Posted by Sam on January 10, 2013 at 12:05 PM Comments comments (0)

Fair & Free; Democrat & Republican....By Tom Renick 2013

What's the difference between Democrats and Republicans you ask?

Basically, Democrats want things to be equal so that everybody gets their fair share of things. Republicans want each person to be free to what they want so they can be as successful as they possibly can be.

Let me give you an example. You and your friends go to the beach to collect sea shells. Let's say one day Johnny, who is really good at ...

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Republicans vs. Democrats for 6-year Olds

Posted by Sam on January 7, 2013 at 4:25 PM Comments comments (0)

POLITICS FOR DUMMIES: The Jackass vs the Pachyderm by Sir Donald Wolesky


This speech was incited by a Table Topics question posed by Table Topic Master Phil Simonson at last week’s meeting. The challenge was to describe the difference between the Democrats and the Republicans in terms that a six year old could understand. The designated responder, Sam Charchian, apparently missed the “six year old” qualifier, and provided a staunchly partisan response...

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"The Man Down the Hall" by Derek Grant

Posted by Sam on December 1, 2012 at 10:40 AM Comments comments (0)

                                                   The Man down the hall 

A fictional short story of a boy and the sound of a Derek Grant

I grew up with my Mom in the center of the city in a cramped...

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Sparky the Dog

Posted by Sam on November 6, 2012 at 11:30 AM Comments comments (0)

       How to Win a Speech Contest-Or the Tale of Sparky the Dog

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The Wisdom of Grandma Mary by Sam Charchian

Posted by Sam on April 21, 2012 at 12:30 PM Comments comments (0)

  The Wisdom of Grandma Mary

It happened when I was a saintly kid of about 10.

At a candy store located about 6 blocks from my house in New York, I stole a bunch of candy. I managed to slip some Tootsie rolls, Sugar Daddy lollypops and wax bottles into my pocket.  I went home to enjoy my bounty that afternoon. I was under the house, in a crawl-space, when my Grandmother, wearing her perennial black dress with gray hair tied in a bun, caught me.  “Where did you...

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The Yappy Dog's Amazing Leap..Sir Donald

Posted by Sam on March 17, 2012 at 5:15 PM Comments comments (0)


The story you are about to hear is my eyewitness account of an amazing leap, performed by a hyperkinetic yappy dog. But be forewarned—some sensitive listeners may find portions of this story disturbing.

The event I am about to describe took place in Minneapolis, at beautiful Lake Calhoun, one summer afternoon several years ago. It was a balmy weekday afternoon, and I was unemployed. At about 2:00 pm I decided it wa...

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