Cosmopolitan Toastmasters

Somewhat Better Speaking, Listening, Thinking and Eating

                                                                Frequently Asked Questions

1. How Can Cosmopolitan Toastmasters help me?


2. Can I pick my own topics or subjects for speeches?  Are there any restrictions?

3. What happens during your "Business Meeting?"

4. What happens if I get asked a TableTopic questions, and I can't (or don't want to) answer?

5. I can't attend every single week.  Is that a problem?

6. Do you use a buzzer during meetings?  Buzzers scare me.

7. What's with all the pigs?

8. Where can I find out how to perform the various roles?

9. What does it cost to join Cosmopolitan Toastmasters Club #515?

10. I'm not a good speaker.  Does that mean I have to join the Incompetent Toastmasters Council?

 Yummy Pickled Pigs Lips

11.  Do I have to eat during the meeting?  What if I'm not hungry?  Do I have to eat pork?  I hate pork.


12. You seem to have many  experienced speakers.  Why do they stay in Cosmopolitan Toastmasters?

13.  I noticed there is a bar at the DoubleTree Hotel, where you meet.  Is there an "Official Cosmopolitan Toastmaster's Drink" for your club?

This is an actual photo taken at the Hotel Bar

       My first Cosmo.jpg

 The Much Beloved "Cosmo-Martini" -named after our beloved mascot, Cosmo Pigglesworth, esq.


14. Are there any alcoholics in your club?

15. Are there any special requirements before joining Cosmopolitan Toastmasters?


16.  I am easily offended by almost anything, (especially by conservatives) and being referred to as "swine".  Should I join and then try to change the club?

17. Can "anyone" visit Cosmopolitan Toastmasters?


18. I see one of your motto's is "Learning to Follow".  Why? 

1.  This is the place to "blow it".  Messing up here leads to constructive criticism and help. Think of Cosmopolitan Toastmasters as a place to learn by training, advice, trial and error.

2. Your first speech must be about you.  After that, you may pick whatever topic you like, as long as you don't bore everyone.  It is wise to follow your manual.

3. see: the "Business Meeting" page.

4.  As a guest, you will not be asked a Table-Topic question, unless you let the Table-Topic Chair know in advance.  Once you are a member, you're fair game. 

 5. No Problem.  But as a courtesy; when you are scheduled to participate in a meeting, it is important to make arrangements with the Toastmaster.

6. Yes.  The "time-keeper' may decide to buzz a speaker, if they are really quite ovetime and boring.

7. The webmaster is obsessed with pork.

8. see: the "Roles & Duties" page.

9. The dues are $44; paid semi-annually, but remember we are a dinner club.

10. Absolutely Not!  The ICTM counicl is evil and works to inhibit your progress as an improving speaker.  For example, they will "boo" when you give a speech based on the TMI authorized program.  For more information, see the "ICTM Council" page.

 11.  We tried to convince the DoubleTree hotel to just give us a free meeting room, but they balked.  We must participate in the: $15, $20 or $25 meal option program.  We do have a minimum room charge.  A great $20 HAM-burger is highly recommended.  Remember, we are a dinner club.

12. Aside from just helping others, this club is an excellent place to have 18-or-so people sit still, and listen to whatever is bugging you these days. We get plenty of speeches on Politics, History and Contemporary Life.

13. Are you kidding?  Several members have been seen going to the bar following the meeting and ordering the "Official Drink of Cosmopolitan Toastmasters".  It is the Cosmopolitan Martini, which was invented by past member (now deceased) Mr. Richard P. Nyberg.  Here is his recipe:

Ingredients for a Cosmopolitan Martini

  • Cointreau
  • Vodka
  • Lime
  • Cranberry Juice

Quantities for one drink:

  • 1/2 oz Cointreau
  • 1 oz Vodka
  • Juice of 1/2 Lime
  • 1 Splash Cranberry Juice

Blending Instructions:

  • Pour all ingredients in mixing glass half filled with ice, shake and strain into chilled Martini glass.

*It is important to note that the Cosmopolitan Martini was invented and approved by Richard P. Nyberg, who was also the Czar of our Choral Committee.  The Cosmopolitan Martini is not authentic unless it is "Czar Approved!"  It is also better if it is made with Stoli Vodka....which is often referred to as "The Stoli Cosmo".  Mr. Nyberg passed on in February 2014.

 "The promised land at day's end, where gelid Cosmopolitan martinis - conical pools of bliss - glow with platinum dew and sit atop their long pelican legs on the mahogany bar, sentries overlooking bowls of salty nuts." ....R.P. Nyberg


14. Yes!  Some may bring a flask with homemade shaken Cosmopolitan Martini's.

15. Yes. You must be at least 18 years old, and really think that piglets are incredibly cute.  You should also have at least some opinions on subjects like; politics, religion, sports, the sexes, marriage and life in general.


16. Well, its been tried before. Old and crusty swine are hard to change. May we suggest you consider another Toastmasters Club.  There are several in the area. Oink.


17.  Yes. However, you must be at least 18 years of age to join.

18.  Leaders who join Cosmopolitan Toastmasters, soon learn that you can't herd cats.  They usually learn to become swineherds.