Cosmopolitan Toastmasters

Somewhat Better Speaking, Listening, Thinking and Eating

                                        Cosmo-Meeting Minutes 

    

Cosmo 515 Minutes, Feb 13, 2020

Call to Order

  • In keeping with the functionality objective, Chair V.Lashbrook called the meeting to order on time at 6:02pm.
    • Guest, We had two guests. Jeff and Alan Bergseth..
    • Grammarian: D.Wolesky:  WOD: Benighted: To wallow in ignorance: The cosmo swine are very capable of living up to their namesake ‘Cosmo Pigglesworth’ by wallowing like a swine in a sea of ignorance, they are benighted.
    • Parliamentarian: J.Drewitz: Was absent…
    • Roll Call.  VP of membership C.Reed stubbed about searching for a list of membership.  Calling roll, he almost pronounced everyone’s name correctly.
    • Previous Minutes: Secretary D.Mitchell summarized the minutes by simply listing the items on the table.  Motion for sanity and Temperance by D.Mitchell, and expect a committee report from the impeachment committee.
    • Treas Report.  B.Wolfson : Dues are Due,  Some amount of dues ($53) are due very soon.  The current treasury balance is $2225.02.
    • Vp Mbrshp: C.Reed: The Meetup site committee has not figured out how to schedule a committee meeting.  In this day and age of the electronic calendar and social agenda scheduling, we’ve been unable to coordinate a meeting.  We are exploring ‘WebEx’ as a virtual meeting platform.
    • VP Educ.  G.Heim.  The almighty TMScheduler, the great automaton, has reported to the Emergency Services as being unwell.  Fortunately the medical staff at Health Partners, were up to their normal proficiency in healing.  They announced that there was nothing obviously wrong with he great Automaton, take two aspirins, go home and get plenty of rest.

Unfinished Business:

    • Chair, V.Lashbrook brought back last weeks motion for temperance.
      • Motion: D.Mitchell: Temperance:  The club will adopt a policy of alcohol freedom.  All intoxicants are banned from the club.
        • Amend: P.Ahern: In lieu of intoxicants from Ethyl, Supply edible Mary-Jane in the form of CBD oil.
          • B.Wolfson: Against: The treasury is not rich enough to wantonly support illegal substances.  Even if we get legal fees at a discount from one of our club lawyers, the fines and court costs will shortly bankrupt us
        • T.Renick: Amend: Substitute ‘Mary-Jane’ with ‘Laughing Gas’ in the previous amendment.
          • J.Holder: Support: Speaking as a current member and a member subject to random drug testing. I support this amendment.  B.Wolfson raised good points about the legal costs.  The original amendment by P.Ahern could cost me my job, my career, and my livelihood.
        • G.Hiem: Against: Mary-Jane is commonly available via the black market.  Your first internet google search will turn up a number of tasty recipes.  As for laughing gas, who supplies this?  Is it available commercially?  What about the cost of the pressure regulators, the cost of individual nose/mouth dispensers?  What about the extra effort required of our Sargent at Arms to maintain and distribute this distribution of gas system?  What about an autoclave to sanitize?  Knowing the membership here, who is going to assume the responsibility for monitoring for over-dosing.  Part of the original base motion was to limit and ban the use of intoxicants.  This was done on the basis that we cannot rely on the addicts among us to regulate their own intake.
      • Motion: C.Reed: Commit to Committee the Main motion and all amendments.
        • Amend: P.Ahern: This subcommittee should be supplied with Laughing Gas.
          • Chair: V.Lashbrook rules amendment out of order: Which comes first the chicken or the egg?  This amendment places the cart before the horse.
        • Vote to committee fails by Voice-Vote
          • Division: Vote to committee passes by a show of hands.


New Business

    • P.Ahern: Motion: Ban any new words in the club.
      • Chair: V.Lashbrook rules motion dies for lack of second.
    • G.Hiem: Motion: Ban all Salsa Dancers from the club.  Our esteemed member Mister J.Dunn has brought a number of Salsa dancers into our club as new members.  This effort has proven useless.  All of these members have jumped ship and are gone.
      • C.Reed: Support: The maker of this motion is correct,, this motion is insightful and may prove to be fruitful.  As it has been demonstrated that salsa dancing seems to damage ones commitment level.  All of the these new members have quit.  It would be more efficient to just not have them as members in the first place.
      • T.Renick: Against: This motion would kick J.Dunn out of the club.  Admittedly he has exhibited strange behavior in the past.  But I must admit that he on occasion has brought more entertainment to us in the form of Sparky The Wonder Dog.
      • G.Hiem: Support: Meant the original motion to apply to new guests seeking membership.
      • P.Chamberlain: Point of Parlimentary Procedure: The maker of this motion has stood and made a motion in good conscience. It has been seconded and debated.  The chair is not at liberty to reinterpret the wording or the meaning of the original motion.  If G.Hiem wants to change the meaning of his motion, let him gain the floor, stand and amend.
      • P.Ahern: Amend: Continue to allow current members who have partaken in this frivolous Salsa Dancing to continue as members in good standing, as long as they complete a speech of apology to the club within a reasonable time period.
      • S.Charchian: Motion: Postpone to a Fixed Time: The main motion and amendments to be postponed to such time that J.Dunn returns from Aussie Land, sobers up, and the Ben-Gay smell from his dancing endeavors has worn off.
        • Motion to PPFT: Passes by Voice Vote
    • Orders of the day: 6:30pm

Table Topics

  • Toastmaster V.Lashbrook
  • B.Winger TTM:  Current Events
    • D.Wolesky: The role of money in politics
    • B.Wolfson: Corona Virus Quarantines
    • S.Charchian: Impeachment Immunity
    • C.Reed: Houston Astros Cheating
    • V.Lashbrook: Haircuts Hairstyles and Institutional enforcement
    • P.Chamberlain: Stop and Frisk
    • P.Ahern: Are Amazon or Microsoft dictating to users

Speaking Program

  • Toastmaster V.Lashbrook, Black History Month Theme
  • General Evaluator: C.Reed: Most Controversial
  • G.Heim: Speaker #1: ICTM Manual #4 How not to give a speech: “The Apalache Murders Ballad” 
  • T.Renick: Speaker #2: The Importance of Education
  • D.Mitchell: Speaker #3: Acuality from Potentiality

Evaluation Program C,Reed

    • P.Ahern evaluates G.Hiem
    • P.Chamberlain evaluates T.Renick
    • S.Charchian evaluates D.Mitchell
    • D.Wolesky Grammarian
  • Awards:
    • Best TT: S.Charchian
    • Best Eval: P.Chamberlain
    • Most Controversial: T.Renick
    • Best Speaker: G.Hiem
  • Closing
    • March 19th is planned as a reunion night.
    • The battle weary membership of Cosmo 515, solemnly realizes that the reality of their existence within this space-time frame has drawn to a close.
    • B.Wolfson: Closing: From Sean Ritchie: I don’t believe in reincarnation,  I didn’t even believe in reincarnation even when I was a hamster.
    •   Adjournment: 8:23pm

TABLE

  • Table is empty.  Prior motions suspended by Orders of the Day and the Postpone Indefinitely have fallen to the ground.  They missed the floor.
  • OOD: Orders of the Day
    • None
  • PostPone to a Fixed Time:
    • G.Hiem: Motion: Ban all Salsa Dancers from the club.  
      • P.Ahern: Amend: Continue to allow current members who have partaken in this frivolous Salsa Dancing to continue as members in good standing, as long as they complete a speech of apology to the club within a reasonable time period.
  • Committees:
    • Impeach Pathways
      • Chair: P.Ahern, Members: J.Dunn, P.Chamberlain.
    • Temperance
      • Chair unknown, unassigned, members unassigned.
      • Motion: D.Mitchell: Temperance:  The club will adopt a policy of alcohol freedom.  All intoxicants are banned from the club.
      • Amend: P.Ahern: In lieu of intoxicants from Ethyl, Supply edible Mary-Jane in the form of CBD oil.
      • T.Renick: Amend: Substitute ‘Mary-Jane’ with ‘Laughing Gas’ in the previous amendment.
    • Membership: Meetup: Chair C.Reed