Cosmopolitan Toastmasters

Somewhat Better Speaking, Listening, Thinking and Eating

                            Weekly Updates for Members



Meeting Minutes 3-28-2019   


EDVP Lashbrook seized the lectern, demanded silence and regarded the rabble with a disdain befitting a President-In-Waiting intent on pushing her agenda with a dictatorial demeanor.


She began a recitation on EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE and the apocalyptic Cosmo future when President Wenger, a bit late due to a lumberjack convention, seized the lectern and quashed the recitation.


Grammarian GSD brought BLANDISH as his WFTD fully expecting a torrent of BLANDISHMENTS after his prolonged UNEXCUSED absence.  Predictably none emerged and the rather obscure and confusing word caused some members to BRANDISH their ignorance in full view.


A delayed and rather desperate attempt at an OPENING THOUGHT by James Dunn produced a top contender for this year’s MOST FORGETTABLE with “Trump eliminated bump stocks”.  Muffled groans and anxious coughs bumped the “stocks” thought into oblivion.


David Mitchell responded to “what is the difference between TABLING and POSTPONING a motion” with a tepid response that failed to make a convincing distinction.


Sir Donald, continued his insidious campaign to undermine the reigning General Secretary with yet another clear, concise and accurate depiction of the last week’s business meeting.  Rumors that he has formed an exploratory campaign committee funded by Tesla continue to abound.


Sam declared that “dues are due” as the surrogate for Treasurer Olson who is holed up in a remote cabin clinched in the fetal position claiming that he is painting.


Mitchell announced the annual Wood Worker’s Ball at EP mall that will feature Bucky Beaver AND Paul Bunyon this year.


Carl Orff’s motion to prohibit note taking during meetings was unfinished business. Ahern’s substitute motion to apologize to Trump for allowing him to become Liar In Chief was ruled out of order.  His appeal failed to garner a second.


Despite a cogent plea from GSD to take back control of the democratic process and simply allow a vote, sheep, lemmings and conformists approved the standard Charchian Communist Take-Over maneuver. 


Stan Brown’s New Business Motion to comp visitor’s meal as a pathetic bald-faced bribe to bring guests back for another look and ultimately join the club left many wondering just how  low we must go to inflate our membership count with people whose commitment hinges on a free meat ball.


Carl Sagan’s amendment to commit to Committee was further amended by Ms. Holder to refer to the Executive Committee for a 2-week interval.