Cosmopolitan Toastmasters

Somewhat Better Speaking, Listening, Thinking and Eating

                            Weekly Updates for Members



Meeting Minutes 5-30-18


Dead Duck washed up President Stong swung the gavel for the last time as welcomed “all to the last supper” causing many to speculate about his health, potential weight problem and application for food stamps.


Kexia’s Opening Thought, “animals are equal, some more than others” caused outrage among conservatives who do not favor equal protection under the law or Second Amendment rights to advanced primates.


GSD’s revelatory WFTD, METONYM, meaning a figure of speech that substitutes an attribute for the thing itself: “The Liar-In-Chief” exemplifies the numbing effect of sheer volume and frequency.”


Parliamentarian Mitchell resumed his attack on the meeting minutes as an “abhorrent travesty, a waste of time and a mind numbing blot on the proceedings” insisting that they should merely record the motions and amendments, pass or fail.


New Business began with an insightful motion from James Dunn to change the Club name to a METONYM: 515.


The chair reminded Mr. Dunn that a change required a written motion prior to consideration at the subsequent meeting, effectively killing the idea.


Paul Ahern’s motion to devote the first meeting in September to “Name

Mis-pronunciation failed to garner a second.


GSD’s motion to implement the Joanie Ernst annual time hog award failed despite a successful vote several years ago to do so.  It should be noted that this ANNUAL award has its own HOG TROPHY and was named by David Hackley who used is customary wit to garner support.  A motion tonight to rename and revitalize this symbol of cumulative Time Abuse as the David Hackley Time Hog Award should be made.


Heim’s amendment was unintelligible and  failed therefore. Ahern’s amendment to subject the minutes to this scrutiny failed resoundingly. OTD, once again, prevailed.